Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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