Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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