I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Enjoy the penises
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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