That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His hands were made for my vagina.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
