i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
