Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
