The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize