Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
