Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
