Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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