Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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