As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
