She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
