does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
