It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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