I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
