just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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