Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
