Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
