I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
