Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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