i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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