yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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