i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
