You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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