FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
