Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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