imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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