Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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