Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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