when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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