this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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