Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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