I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
