i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
