Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Your penis caused this!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
