so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dignity is for republicans.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
