So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
