he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
