So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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