first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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