How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
