hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
