Just fell off a train. Bad.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
