I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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