i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
