i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
