Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
