I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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