Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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