i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
