You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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