I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
