I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
