fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
