I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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