If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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