It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
