Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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