I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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