cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
