I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
