So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
